Yesterday one of my good eFriends put out a call for bloggers to write about the good side of relationships. I decided to answer her call. I wrote a piece about my wife and I.


Feel free to check it out!

http://www.onefourthrandom.com/guest-post-youre-all-that-i-need/

A&E has a hit series called 'The First 48' in which it documents murder cases and the efforts of policemen and women to make an arrest within the first 48 hours of the crime. The series documents the efforts of police departments in major cities across the U.S. (Memphis, Miami, Dallas, Phoenix, etc) and gives a synopsis of what goes into catching criminals. The TV show is very well produced and packaged, I haven't researched but I'm sure they've won awards. I do, however, have a slight beef.

Now, my beef isn't with the show, its producers, nor is my beef with the detectives or the police officers that work hard to keep neighborhoods safe. My beef is with the stars of the show. The stars of The First 48 are unpaid. They are often in wardrobe synonomous with their neighborhoods colors lacking belts, haircuts, and a sense of what life is all about.

The stars of The First 48 often look like me.

Young. Male. Black. 5'10"-ish. Medium to Muscular Build.

Now to someone whose never seen The First 48, my above paragraphs may lead you to believe that I'm only discussing the people who end up arrested. Unfortunately, this is not the case. While the criminals are the stars of the show, their co-stars are often the people they've allegedly murdered. Those people, like me, often fit the desription:

Young. Male. Black. 5'10"-ish. Medium to Muscular Build.

While most people view The First 48 as a hit reality drama, I see it another way. I think 50 years from now The First 48 will provide the first visually documented accounts of economic evidence of why the income and education gaps between Black men and women will be so far off. Sista's (and by that I mean Black women) have been complaining for years that there are no good Black men out there. Soon, that will be true. Robberies and homicides amongst Black men continue to rise everyday. And all for what? Turf? Colors? Respect?

At age 26, I've already had friends killed by gang violence. Eight days before my 26th birthday, I got a phone call saying that a guy I looked at like a little brother died after being shot several times. So with all that said, I'm wondering what will be our legacy. This post focuses on Black men but this is a societal problem that extends outside of the Black community. The ripple effect of mothers crying, children without fathers, and prisons being built in our back yards effects citizens of all races. So what do we make of this? We have people, groups, and governmental legislation raising money to save polar bears and melting ice caps, but what will we do to save our sons?

I'll leave this up for discussion either here, in your homes, at your local barbershops, starbucks or wherever else.

The lack of action we take now will be directly proportional to the quality of our futures.

Image via Wikipedia

In this recession a cheap meal is very hard to come by. This is why Arby's is gonna save the American marriage. Arby's is offering a Free BBQ Bacon Roast Burger (with any soft drink purchase). This is great because it gives you a drink and a sandwich for $1.65 (the price of a small drink at Arby's in Nashville). But it gets even better.

On the back of the receipt, you can call and get a free Regular Roast Beef or Beef 'n Cheddar for doing their survey. So you can literally go to Arby's with about $2.00 and eat pretty well.

Image via Wikipedia

As I watched the Michael Jackson memorial, I couldn't help but be amazed and in awe of the outpouring of love for this man. Celebrities and fans gathered together in the Staples Center, Times Square, CNN.com/Facebook, and all around the world to celebrate the life of a man who's music consistently told us to love, heal the world, and let change start with ourselves.

The memorial service made me think of how one should want to be remembered. As we know like none of us, Mike wasnt perfect. He was a man who came with flaws, shortcomings, and mistakes. He was also a man who, for a period of time, held the media spotlight in controversy with allegations of child molestation and all out weirdness.

Since his death, people from all over have come out to say good and bad about him. In the wake of all of this, I think what the world has learned is to judge someone on the totality of their being and not the singularity of their actions. Michael Jackson will go down in history as the greatest performer ever, he'll be remembered for selling the most albums of all time, he'll be held in high regard for being a humanitarian, a samaritan, and a father. It's my hope that when all of the dust has settled, he'll be simply understood.

What we must remember, especially those of us who consider ourselves righteous and above reproach is that no one is perfect. While watching on CNN.com via facebook, I was shocked by all of the negativity that the jury of public opinion has seemingly convicted him on. Remember, the constitution of the United States allows a person to be innocent until proven guilty. There have been investigators that have tried to prove him guilty and couldnt. To those people I say, keep the propaganda to yourself. Remember the lessons that you're mothers probably taught you in that "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Throughout all of the many faces, eccentricities, and tabloid headlines about Michael Jackson, his messages taught us all to love, challenge our beliefs, made us dance and wouldn't let us stop 'til we got enough. I challenge all who read this to live and love fully and innocently. I challenge you to try and have an impact on so many lives that your memorial service will fill the Staples Center. Lastly, I dare you to be charitable and to try to bring people together. Michael did an excellent job of it in life and in death. Be thankful for the music and the man because the music the man created will last forever, the man is gone from us now.

Goodbye, Michael. You'll be missed and gone too soon.

Michael Jackson via last.fm

Today, pop icon Michael Jackson died after a reported cardiac arrest. The 50 year old artist was about to embark on another tour and had been working with Lou Ferigno to get in shape. I'm at a loss for words. I've been trying to think of a way to honor him and this is what I got:

Go to Barnes and Noble, Amazon.com, iTunes or your favorite music store and buy Thriller. Let's see if we can top the record for most albums sold that Michael set in 1982 by selling 80,000,000 copies. Lets shoot for 90,000,000 or more.

I'm just one man, I don't have that much internet clout but I figure it's something we all can do.

The 25th Anniversary copy of Thriller can be purchased at Amazon.com

So is faggot like nigga, where only the parties who claim some association to the derogatory term can say it? If so that makes sense. Remember a few years ago when actor Isaiah Washington had to go to rehab for calling one of his Grey's Anatomy costars a fag? Remember when Dog the Bounty Hunter made racist statements about his son's girlfriend? He also had to go to rehab. So, what gives one license to have an implied reference to themselves, as well as call others, a faggot, nigga, or any other derogatory term? How is it ok for a person to put themselves down by endearing a term, but wrong for others to do it? I have white friends (yes I have more than one white friend) who I've heard refer to each other as Honky. I've seen women of all races referring to each other as bitch.









"You wonder why they call you bitch, I betcha."





During an altercation in Canada where Perez Hilton was allegedly assaulted as a result of an altercation between himself, Fergie, and will.I.Am. Perez Hilton said he wanted to verbally hurt Will.I.Am by calling him the worst thing he could think to call him. So, what's a word with two G's in the center that would hurt a Black man?






Faggot! Perez called Will.I.Am a faggot.



Now, in my opinion, this speaks to the self esteem of Mr. Hilton. The worst thing he could think to call a man whom he has no reason to believe is gay is a word that's used to put down gays?

Really?

I guess that's like a Chinese man getting mad at a Mexican and yelling, "Chink!"

What sense does that make? How could one be a gay man and think that calling someone a faggot is the worst thing he could say to a straight man? Would Perez have hit Will if he was called Hetero?

While these questions are left to be answered, the bottom line is this: The conversational use of derogatory terms have to stop if they're expected to have any weight. A person can't be mad if someone uses a racial slur against them and they turn around and use it to greet their brother. It makes no sense for Perez to have called will.I.Am a faggot. In using that term, he showed the world what he thinks of himself, as well as the gay community.